One thing for employers, friends, relatives and even those of us with chronic illnesses to keep in mind is that each illness has its own particular challenges. Even the same type of disease can manifest itself in many different ways.
Those of us who have lived long enough with a chronic illness have stories of well meaning people giving us advice that would potentially cripple or kill us if we followed it. The reason – this person has a good friend who has a similar condition. They followed a certain treatment, diet or regimen that worked well for them.
What people don’t realize is that we are not all the same. Let me give you an example. I have Crohn’s disease, which is an inflammation of the intestinal tract. Common sense dictates with any digestive illness one should eat lots of fiber – fruits, vegetables, grains etc. If you look on the web, you’ll even find dozens of these whole-food diets that cater to people who have my condition. The problem is, they don’t work for me. In fact eating a bowl of fresh broccoli or bran flakes would send me to the emergency room and possibly kill me.
Why? I have had this condition for over thirty years. In that time my small intestine and colon have inflamed and healed over hundreds of times building up large amounts of scar tissue that form strictures, narrowing my intestinal tract. Any fiber gets caught and causes an obstruction or blockage which is both painful and dangerous.
Not a year goes by however, that I don’t get someone insisting I should be eating a high fiber diet or judging me because I eat a lot of processed food, meat and refined carbs. I have had more than one misinformed person even imply that I was responsible for causing my own illness.
A lot of the advice I give on this site is somewhat general. The reason is that every person is different. I can mention that exercise is important, but I won’t advise everyone to go out and jog five miles every day. Each person should know what exercise is best for them and their condition.
Please keep this in mind the next time you feel compelled to give advice to others with a chronic illness. You can always tell them works for you or your friend, but let them know that they also have to discover what works for them. After all, you don’t want to kill them with kindness.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen. I can’t tell you how many people have heard or know someone who became vegans and “cured” their Crohn’s. Ha! I wish I could just have a simple salad. Vegan? I don’t think so. By the same token, I know there are many of us who can’t tolerate dairy, yet it’s one thing I fall back on when I’m sick: yogurt, soft cheeses, etc.
We’re all different, and I think we all know our bodies best. We’d all do well to try to remember that before offering advice.
Be well!
Thank you. And thank you for your great comments as well. The web is so full of diets and remedies for every disease and health complaint, people often think that we can cure ourselves if we only wanted to.
