The following is a short except from my speech “You Don’t Look Sick”. It was given at Invisible Disability Awareness Week, at Queen’s University in Kingston Ontario. It’s a look at how invisible illness can be seen as a gift:
And after years of dealing with the discrimination, ignorance and misunderstanding of invisible illness I can tell you there is a huge temptation to become bitter. Now I can write a whole speech on bitterness and how I have seen it affect my own life and the lives of my friends – but since we’re short on time I’ll just say this:
When we are bitter we don’t trust others. We don’t ask properly for what we need and we don’t actively seek peace with the world. Being saddled with an invisible illness is burden enough. We don’t need bitterness cluttering our lives. We need to be flexible. If your expectations of the world or for others is rigid then you are likely to be disappointed time and again that things don’t work out the way you want.
Having an invisible illness or disability takes patience. Not only do you have to be patient with those who don’t understand what you are going through, you also have to be patient with yourself. Realize there are times when you may need to stop what you are doing and take care of yourself. I was so focused on getting good grades for University, I spent my last year in High School walking around with a perforated intestine, until I fell into a deep toxic shock. When they finally operated on me they only gave me a thirty percent chance of survival. My wonderful life and career could well have ended before it really began.
As tough as it may be – think of your illness as a gift
The courage you will gather from your adversity will allow you to do wonderful things. It will motivate you to live life to the fullest. If I had lived a healthy typical life, I doubt I would have gone to Hollywood to study screenwriting, taken a history course at Cambridge University or started playing electric guitar in a rock band in my late 30s.
Invisible illness also allows you to understand others and gives you an insight many people lack. As we have discussed, most people are quick to judge. But we – We can be quick to understand.
