“Life is beautiful.” I know it is a corny sentiment, but hopefully you will forgive me. The first time I ever said it, everyone in the emergency room was convinced I only had moments to live.
Just a couple of hours earlier, my friend had called the ambulance for me. I had the chills so badly that I was shaking hard enough to move the furniture. Due to my chronic condition I have to take drugs that suppress my immune system – so when I get sick, I get really sick.
I have had some bad fevers in my lifetime but nothing was as bad as this. Having gone through life-threatening health situations before there is a certain point where – if you remain conscious – any pain or discomfort you have starts to change. Suddenly, you’re immediately aware that this could be the end.
The triage nurse said there was nothing they could do for me despite pleas from the ambulance driver. My eyes were open and I could see and hear, but I must have appeared so out of it that the nurses stopped talking to me directly. They were so gentle and slow as they took my vital signs – almost like you treat a corpse. I heard one nurse quietly say “Oh my God” as she looked at my temperature. The young nurse beside her had a horrified look on her face I recall to this day. The older nurse took her by the arm and lead her away. She looked like she was about to cry.
There is no way to describe how I felt when I “knew” I was going to die. For some people near death experiences are peaceful. Mine was not. I was 33 years old and somehow I felt I hadn’t appreciated the beauty of life. I had succeeded in life despite the challenges of my illness, but it felt empty. In what I felt were my last moments, I told the surprised ambulance driver that life was beautiful and not to take it for granted.
Minutes later my fever broke and I sat up on the stretcher. There was a sudden rush of people around me and I was soon whisked into intensive care where I stayed overnight. I spent two weeks in hospital on intravenous antibiotics. In time I made a complete recovery. The only loss I suffered due to the fever was a few million brain cells.
- The joy of helping people
This experience remains a defining point of my life. I realized that things that I had learned and achieved would be gone when I left this earth. It gave me a keen interest in helping others with similar challenges.
Many healthy people have no idea what it is like living and working with a chronic illness as they have no frame of reference. Furthermore, few of us view chronically ill people as potential high performers so there is very little help available to them. Over the past few years, I have been privileged enough to help friends and co-workers who have struggled with the same issues I have had. It is a very rewarding experience and one that reminds me how beautiful life is.
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Yes, my friend “Life is beautiful”. Thanks for sharing your self and your gift of motivation to so many.
Thank you Rosie. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
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